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You Said It! Award
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Anne Taintor
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I'm So Mediocre
Sleep. It Does A Body Good.
How many days can one stay in bed and not get tired of being there?
From someone who could easily qualify as a “professional sleeper” (me!), the answer is three days.
I know. Some of you are impressed. Some are annoyed. Be honest. Anyone jealous?
Signs you’ve had too much sleep:
• your sternum hurts from sleeping on your side for too long
• you strip the sheets and there’s a permanent dent in the memory foam
• you wake up at 4:45 and breathe a sigh of relief that it’s almost morning. (Hello? Did I just say that?!)
But GAH - the flu was not fun. You forget how awful it really is. The bummer was that it hit us just getting home from our trip north and it hit us both at the same time. That equates to no groceries and no capable drivers. Nina, bless her heart, scrounged up applesauce and rice for us. By 6pm, I had just enough energy to taxi her to the grocery for soup, gatorade, saltines and pepto. She said she felt like the kid from Home Alone shopping all alone.
But enough about that.
You don’t care about that.
What you care about it what my mother knows.
And how she found out.
Let me start by saying that I had to ask my sister, Sugar Mama, why she hadn’t said anything to me after an hour of having arrived.
She forgot. And didn’t notice. *ahem* But that’s a whole different post.
(In her defense, I was wearing a wool sweater.)
Anyway. I made it to day three and after a cup of spiked punch on “Christmas Day”, I decided to out myself.
I know.
Are you disappointed?
I’m not. Although I’m afraid if I think about it too long, I may be.
This is what the rum I told myself.
I was hot. I knew in a full house of 17 bodies, the big wool sweater was going to have to come off at some point. And I knew mother would notice once that happened. So I went on the offensive, got her alone in the kitchen and just said,
“Mother, I have something to tell you, but I don’t want to talk about it. I had a boob job.”
Just like that.
She gasped. And then gave me a knowing look. The first thing she said was, “I wondered if you would.”, referring to my casual mention of it a few years ago.
That was followed by: “Who else knows? And why are you telling me now when I can’t ask the million questions I have. I’d have a tummy tuck before I’d have a boob job. Did it hurt? Are you happy with it? I’m assuming Spin is all about it.”
And it was over.
Well, except for the “You’re getting brave now, aren’t you?” when the wool sweater, in fact, had to come off for a while.
Whatever.
Like I said, it’s over.
I’d like to think my motivation was to take the offensive. You’re never in a good position when you’re playing defense against my mother. Vanity? Can you testify here?
I’m willing to consider that part of me wanted to tell her. The part of me that wants to have a good relationship with her. The part of me that wishes I could have told her a long time ago. I could be okay with that.
But part of me fears that I couldn’t not tell her. And why. {shudder} There’s no sunshine and light in those dark corners, so we’re not going there.
Vanity and Sugar Mama agreed it went the best it could have been expected to go. And I’m going to be honest. I’m relieved. It’s not something I’m ashamed of or want to lie about. And I’m so grateful she respected my wishes not to talk about it. It’s not a stretch to call that monumental. She doesn’t have a history of doing boundaries very well. So she scored some big points with me by not pushing it. BIG points.
In the end, I’m very content with how it all went down. Very content.
Next up:
The tattoo.
Parting Gifts
The holidays are over.
Being that they started on November 8th and didn’t end until January 1st, I’m not altogether unhappy they’re behind us.
But the parting gifts I could have done without.
Those being:
aches, shakes, chills, cramps, diarrhea, vomiting, dry heaves, fever
That’s right. The all-American flu.
My family was way too generous this year. Thanks to the church nursery on Christmas Eve, 9 and counting of the 17 of us got it.
Good times.
I know you’re dying to hear about Mother and the girls.
She totally knows.
But I’ll save that and more for later.
Energy reserve is gone-zo.
I’m Not Here
I’m actually in the frozen Minnesota tundra on assignment for new bloggy material visiting family.
Vanity is already there.
Good times.
My Anne Taintor Christmas
Spin is so good to me. And he utilizes personal shoppers so well.
Those personal shoppers being, ahem, me and Cheryl, a reader and fellow Anne fan.
Lookie!
A monthly calendar for the kitchen. An engagement planner for my desk. And playing cards (Cheryl RAWKS!) to beat my man in cards with.
Like Anne once said to me, I AM a one-woman PR team!
The Post You’ve Been Waiting For
It’s gone.
All of it.
There is not a trace of Christmas left in Spin’s domain.
(Well, except for the loot.)
((And the cookies. I’m having a love affair with little gingerbread men. Many of them.))
But the decor? Gone.
It required every ounce of self-restraint he had, but Spin steeled himself until 6am this morning, when he finally granted himself permission to unleash his full OCD fury on our home.
Freak.
Obsessive Christmas Disorder? Or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? You be the judge.
I will say, being that the dang tree has been up for 48 days - I, myself, was ready to start ripping stuff off of it and tearing it down last night.
I am beyond over it. Good riddance. Finito.
Comfort and Joy
Not for a moment have I allowed myself to take this day for granted.
This day that started and will end with gratitude.
This day that was marked by comfort and joy.
Merry Christmas, dear reader. I sincerely hope that whatever circumstances you find yourself in, or perhaps even in spite of them, comfort and joy was yours today as well.
GUESS Where Spin Is?
The mall.
On December 24th.
In his defense, he went to deliver some Christmas cheer to our family hair stylist.
He happened to notice that Victoria’s Secret was EMPTY, so he called me and volunteered to go in and rectify my bra crisis from yesterday.
Granted, all he really did was walk in, hand his cell phone and his credit card to a sales clerk and asked her to meet him back out in the mall. She and I got things squared away in quick order and Spin gets credit for saving the day!
The last thing I heard him say as he made his way into the devil’s lair store was “Awkward.”
God’s honest truth, it was his idea. Not mine.
I’m assuming he made it back out.
Sometimes he is all that.
Update: His text to me after reading this post from the mall. “Nice. You forgot the part about having to walk through that mall with a neon pink pervert alert bag. That was fun.”
Scratch That!
I have a new least favorite part of Christmas.
I would MUCH rather have been baking today than standing in the Honeybaked Ham line.
FOR AN HOUR.
And my bra crisis was not rectified today because the line at Victoria’s Secret was ridiculously long.
And can I just say? There were too many friggin’ males in that store today.
Idiots.
I wanted to tell them all they were totally missing the point by shopping for themselves two days before Christmas.
But whatever.
(Speaking of boobs…. it’s a good thing it’s 20 below in MN right now. We’re headed up on Saturday and it will be the girls first trip home. They’ll be safely tucked away under several layers of protection.)
((Mother will never know.))
So yeah - two days before Christmas? Not a good time to venture out.
Needless to say, I came home and gleefully rolled out and frosted gingerbread men.
My Least Favorite Thing of Christmastime
The baking.
It’s not the eating part. It’s the working part. The mess-making part. The time consuming part.
The eating part I can deal with.
I did the “neighbor” baking on Saturday. Yesterday we started cookies for us. Sugar, peanut butter kisses and gingerbread.
Peanut butter balls are slated for today. But if I’m being honest, I’m not sure it’s going to happen.
It’s just so much work.
Funny. Shopping doesn’t feel like work. Wrapping doesn’t feel like work. Christmas card didn’t feel like work - not even entering data for labels THREE TIMES. Going to the post office to ship gifts wasn’t fun, but it didn’t feel like work either.
But the baking? Nothing fun or relaxing about it… which makes it little more than work. The little more is the memory making part of it for my kids - which is the only justification to do it.
Well, and the eating part.
What’s your least favorite part of preparing for Christmas?
Delinquent Bling
Lookie! Pixie thinks I “get it”. (Although, the week it’s taken me to publicly acknowledge this little beauty likely has her re-thinking it.)
I landed my man and we’re more in love than ever - so I guess she’s right. I guess I do “get it”. Thanks Pixie & Emma!
Lisa at Domestic Accident passed on the Honest Scrap award for keeping it real.
Here are the rules for the Honest Scrap recipients:
♥ list 10 honest things about yourself (Really? I don’t know how much there is that I haven’t already put out there or that isn’t on my 100 Things list. I’ll try, though. Might be more “random” than “honest”.)
HONEST (S)CRAP. Heh.
1. I’m way more negative than I want to be.
2. I can’t sleep if my feet are cold.
3. I have a lifelong habit of picking at the hem of blanket bindings. It puts me in a catatonic state. I find it extremely soothing. Odd, yes.
4. I’m uptight.
5. I buy the same lie every. single. day. Sin sucks.
6. I can’t swallow pills without gagging. They get stuck in my throat. I MUST eat something afterward.
7. I buy too much ’stuff’ for my kids.
8. I can’t wait to send my kids to school next year. 8 years of home schooling has worn me out.
9. I don’t watch or read the news. Spin knows enough for both of us.
10. I think someday I’d like to get a tattoo.
♥ pass the award onto 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design
1. Vanity’s Fair (woot!) - She’s as real as they come, y’all.
2. Jason. For the love of God. (who might not play along, but you have to read her! She’s one of my faves.)
3. Grit & Glory - for keeping it real with me.
4. Medicated & Motivated - a new blogger who is a fellow Anne Taintor fan/ tell it like it is kind of girl.
5. All Things in Moddy - a new find and she’s DARLIN’!
6. Stretch Marks. LOVE this girl’s style.
7. The Bayou Belles and Their Beau - this girl is WHO SHE IS. And I love her for it.
♥ link to the blogger who gave you this prize - check
♥ link to the blogs receiving the prize - check
♥ notify the recipients - check
Wasn’t that more than you wanted to know fun? So sorry for not getting to this sooner.
Now. Who tagged me for a meme?
Y’all are so demanding.