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I'm So Mediocre
Friday’s Brain Dump
You know how little things happen in the week that are totally worth blogging, but aren’t enough to stand alone in a post?
There are bloggers who post that way. I enjoy them. Maybe I’ll get to that point someday, but for now, I’ve decided to just have a big hot brain dump right here on my blog instead. With categories. Totally swiping Holly’s Monday Potluck idea.
But this is different. Totally different, because it’s on Fridays. And it’s not called a Potluck.
See, it’s really not the same at all.
New and Improved Ways to Sin
A $5 bargain from St*aples!! Lick your fingers - YUMMY goodness.
I’m Not Brilliant
• I thought each computer had its own IP address. I found out this week, that it must be something in the router - modem - whatever. (Please don’t ask me what any of those things are. I don’t know.)
• I realized this week that MAD LIBS are a play on words from Ad Lib. Duh.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Things I Forgot but Later Remembered
When I’m going somewhere - I almost always dash back into the house for something at the last minute. Spin calls it forgetting. I call it remembering.
I remembered that I’ve had a Works For Me Wednesday post idea that I have forgotten to post for the last three weeks. It’s a great idea for the pool season, but by the time I actually get it posted, it probably won’t be summer anymore.
Adding that to my list of things to do. Auto-post next week’s Works For Me Wednesday. Check.
Wasn’t that fun? I’m rethinking the “totally bloggable” thing. This might have been my first and only Friday Brain Dump.
Until Monday…..
Monkey Wrenches and Tailspins
You. Won’t. Believe, My. Freakin’. Day.
The very life of my dog and my daughter have hung in the balance.
Not in that order.
It started at 5am, when my dog jumped off the bed vomiting.
Spin and I sprang into action. (It’s a fairly normal occurence, you see.)
He was in charge of herding her into the hallway. (OFF THE CARPET, thank you!)
I was in charge of clean up. Until I heard, “Honey! HONEY!!!!”
Paisley wasn’t breathing. She appeared to be choking on something. She clearly was not breathing.
I started the Heimlich. (Is that what they call it for dogs?) But no worries. I’ve done it before on her when she was choking on a large piece of chicken. It worked then.
I started pumping on her stomach as she flailed and paddled at the air. It was awful.
Terrifying. Sickening.
Awful.
After a minute or so of no. success, she started to slump and Spin hollered, “NOOOOOOOO!” (waking Stink and Nina - who then proceeded to freak out.)
What do you do with a dead dog at the top of the hallway stairs???
I kept pumping, pleading the name of JESUS and speaking sternly to Spin about his lack of composure.
“You aren’t HELPING! Get them OUT of here!!!”
She finally started wheezing…. and then, praise the name of JESUS, breathing.
I’ve never in my lifetime experienced what came next. After collapsing onto the floor with a breathing and ALIVE dog in my arms, she for a solid minute - maybe longer - strained her nose to my face and stared at me with her huge dilated pupils as if to say. “Mom. Don’t ever let that happen again.”
She was terrified. And, God bless her - just wanted her mom.
We took her to the ER vet, fearing that she’d had a seizure because of her instability afterward, although at that point, she was acting completely normal.
After an hour and a half, we couldn’t wait any longer. Spin had to go to work and the ER Vet was busy birthing and saving lives.
Long story short, we believe she was choking on her own vomit. I saved her life again. (Going to the vet tomorrow, who couldn’t work her in until then, for blood work just in case.)
THEN - at 8:30 (AM!), I got an email from the school my kids were enrolled in saying it had, basically, folded. Three weeks before school was to start.
Remember my mid-June school crisis. Yes. My worst fears realized.
We had since enrolled Stink in another school. (His class had been in the most jeopardy, enrollment-wise.)
But today - God closed the door on what had seemed to be our best 1st choice for Nina.
Still working out the details and counting on God to SHOW UP - but I applied for her today at the same school Stink is going to. Not sure it’s my first choice for her this year, but if it’s God’s 1st choice, then I am but His servant.
One whole day. GONE-ZO.
Wonder what my blood-pressure was today.
True Religion
“Defeat seemed to hang in the air. Fear tried to set up house in the deepest part of our hearts. The intense battle forced us to our knees.
All that was left was to close our eyes and pray to our mighty warrior, the Lion of Judah. With our eyes closed tight, we could still hear the shouts of eviction and the whispers of hopelessness, but we continued to pray. Finally, all became quiet…the voices had been silenced.
Slowly, we opened our eyes and as the dust settled on the battlefield, we noticed that God’s beloved had escaped unharmed. Our mighty warrior had rescued us from all that meant to do us harm. Our great lover had protected us and given us back the peace we had longed for.”
~ an excerpt from Kari’s post today, Peace at Last
Hallelujah!
Coffee with Kari in Minneapolis - December 2007
Kari is my real life hero. We met in seventh grade and were particularly close through highschool. I went on my first missions trip with Kari to Haiti when we were 16.
It changed me.
It changed her too. If you didn’t know her heart, you would call her a full-time missionary now. But I know that’s not how she thinks of herself. She just a woman after God’s own heart who chose to follow It to the Dorcas Widows in Uganda.
She’s a friend to them. And I know she is confident that she gets much more from them than they get from her.
God has blessed Kari with a ministry, Dorcas Widows of Kampala, supported by Believers with the Western commodity of cash.
God has blessed the widows with the Spiritual commodity of Faith.
Together, lives are being CHANGED. Both in Uganda and in the States.
I read these poignant posts - and beg Kari to write more often. Her email list is extensive. I know MANY, MANY people read her blog when they get an email notification that she has posted. But NO ONE COMMENTS.
Perhaps her readers aren’t aware of the blogging culture to do so - but would you consider blessing her (and the widows) by linking over and leaving her an encouraging comment?
And would you share what God is doing in Uganda through the Dorcas Widows ministry with others?
Perhaps you would even subscribe to her feed, so you, too, know when there are developments.
GOD IS AT WORK, PEOPLE. Don’t miss it!
The widows have the money to purchase land and are very close to doing so. The next push will be to raise money to provide homes for these women and the children they care for (many of them are caring for orphaned relatives or friends in addition to their own children.) 125 widows amounts to between 500-600 people when you factor in the children.
Thank you for your strong show of prayer support on Saturday. God amazes me.
His Power displayed for all to see…..
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~ James 1:27
I’m Not Exactly Ivy-League
So I had dinner with a friend tonight…..
I like her because she’s funny.
She asked if she could buy me drinks in exchange for editing her twin boys’ college app essays.
Based on my Humiliated post.
I’m so proud.
The funny that I referred to?? She was serious.
Holy GPA, Batman! (No. Really, Batman. They’re both like, 4.5.)
Um, as soon as I heard Princeton, Yale, Georgetown, Vanderbilt, Penn, I ordered another drink.
I had to.
So, I have my 1945 red ballpoint pen out, and I’m editing…..
That’s right. Me. Editing writing that’s better than anything I ever produced as a 17-year-old.
Or as a 37-year-old - but whatever.
Hang on. Spin just asked me to shave his neck. Be back in a second.
Back. Spin’s not as sharp as I thought. I’m totally in a mood to be taken.
I had a LARGE margarita.
And then a small one.
(I should compose every post slightly buzzed. Everything seems so much funnier. Funner? More funny?? Vanderbilt, my ass.)
I digress. College app essays.
So these darlin’ boys will be headed off to Ivy League schools with essays edited by the voice of…. Soliloquy?!?!
Oh, that’s rich.
Let’s just hope no one pegs them for a mommy blogger….
I Am Largely Annoyed
I just got home from some errands and my Nina was on my laptop. Which means she’d been on it from the moment I left to the moment I arrived home (an hour?) because it puts itself to sleep after 10 minutes without use and needs a password to wake up.
Hellooooo? Boundaries, people.
I take issue with this for several reasons.
- She jammed up the whole dang thing trying to email 19mb of photos to herself. I had to force quit all my applications and restart.
- All my windows were up - my browser history like an open book. Um. My entire secret identity life is on this laptop. She knows about the blog. I don’t know if she knows HOW to get there. Until last week, she thought my name was Psychology. But I’m sure she could find it.
- Anytime email comes in, it opens the window with the message. The private message addressed to ME.
I don’t need my thirteen year old reading my email OR my blog. She has her own computer. I don’t need either one of my kids to come stand over my shoulder and read what I am typing.
What?!
Is a little privacy too much to ask for?
Sweet Nina, if you’re reading - you’re so busted.
Seriously. Techy Fairy Godmother - how do I block an IP address?
Random New York
Uh oh! Someone hasn’t been reading Fussy’s Fight the Frump.
Didn’t wash his hands in the men’s room. (Said Spin. Eww!)
WC for Water Closet. Is that European? No men’s or women’s rooms?
Guess we’re an equal-opportunity elimination country.
Yes. That is a chair chained up in a tree?
Why, you ask?
This guy ran out of room in his apartment.
I know there’s plenty of ‘weird’ out there - but I’ve never seen so much of it all in one place as in New York City.
I wish I had photos of every weird thing, but I wasn’t in the mood to have the crap beat outta’ me by the crazed masses on the streets.
WHAT is it with NYC cab and limo drivers? Can’t TELL you how many times we got in and told them where we needed to go and then had to give them directions.
One time I took the kids to the zoo, we hopped in and said “Central Park Zoo, please”. “Ah, okay. (in a thick middle-eastern accent) Okay - you know where is the zoo?” Seriously? Gonna’ take a stab in the dark here and guess CENTRAL PARK?
Want to know why the Dial 7 limo service is named Tel-Aviv? Because that’s where all the drivers are from.
Nothing quite says, “Leave it to me. All is under control.” like getting into a cab with more Arabic writing on the car than English.
Honestly.
LOTS of Europeans in the city, taking advantage of our weak dollar. Those were some happy shoppers.
And last, but NOT least, the rather *ahem* unique crowd attending Thrillerfest 2008 that was held at our hotel while we were there.
Ever wondered what a thriller author looks like?
Ted Bundy.
Every single one of them.
Imagine hundreds of them prowling the lobby and hallways of our hotel.
Those were some creepy looking dudes. (Well, from my peripheral vision, that is. I couldn’t look at them full on. Too scary.)
There was this thrilling seminar on Saturday afternoon:
Terrorism, Weapons, Bombs and Intelligence are great fodder for thrillers today. So, we’re bringing in the experts to feed the curiosity of our readers and provide authors with the real scoop.
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives (ATF) will be our distinguished guest at ThrillerFest 2008.
Supervisory Special Agent Joseph Green of New York City’s ATF field office will discuss the role the ATF plays in protecting America from threats, both
foreign and domestic. Several Special Agents will demonstrate the weapons and tools the ATF uses in day-to-day operations. See and handle weapons used by law enforcement plus confiscated street guns and trafficking handguns! Learn about explosives and more! Get answers straight from the experts.
But a nap after that pitcher of Sangria sounded more relaxing.
Do ya’ think?!
I just don’t know that there is an adequate way to sum up the weirdness that is New York. And if there is, I am clearly not the author for the job.
I’ll tell you one thing….. I feel very, very normal compared to the colorful mass of humanity that calls NYC home.
Yes, that’s me.
Boring. Average.
And fine with it all.
To Show Us More of His Power
A miracle.
The hedge of protection around the Dorcas Widows of Kampala, Uganda we’ve prayed for.
Just got this email from Kari.
God says that the prayers of the saints are powerful and effective and I have seen that be true in a powerful way!
I went to the quarters to pray with the ladies on Thursday and Friday. We chose to trust God’s promises and to claim his love for his women along with all of you! On Friday the police came in the morning but did not do anything but show thier presence.
When the ladies woke on Saturday, the police were nowhere to be found. In fact, nothing happened all day long. Then at the end of the day, the IGG–attorney general of Uganda–issued a strict warning to the police and other government officials to stay away from the quarters. So for the last couple of days everything has been quiet.
The IGG came to the quarters yesterday-Sunday- to tell the women and other residents not to move-to stay where they are until the case is fully decided in court. In other words to see if this eviction is legal. This will give the ladies some time to either find another place or for us to finalize the land purchase!
God is so so so so good! This is a real miracle and your prayers did in fact shake the gates of heaven on their behalf!
Thank you so much!
Kari
A Taste of NYC
I know. I’m getting so bold to be posting pictures…. I can’t help myself. I figure my FACE is as much a part of me as anything else. I’ve put everything else out there - why not my ugly mug, too?
We had the most PERFECT time in New York. It really was charmed. I’m so grateful for my life. For the abundance and freedom we live in. I am so mindful to appreciate it. It hasn’t always been this way, and there may come a time that life feels a lot harder than it does right now.
If life is but a tapestry, these days are the bright threads contrasting against the darkness of harder times.
I know that.
Memories we collected from different parts of Manhattan:
Times Square
In a bike after Mamma Mia!
East Village
SoHo. Technically, NoLito (north of Little Italy)
The Tory Burch sandals I wanted were sold out in my size. Waaaah!
Little Italy
A pitcher of Sangria. Grazie!
Midtown
Drinks at a rooftop lounge on 41st and Madison.
Hell’s Kitchen
DR. RUTH! I wanted so badly to tell her about my recent conquest!
Alas, I am the epitome of self-restraint.
Chelsea
Gotham Comedy Central. Tom Papa was freakin’ hysterical.
30,000 feet
Last licks. Hmmm, pomegranate martini.
Operation Embracing Anonymity was another failure.
We were in the front row (thank you, Gold Medallion) and it would have been rather conspicuous to “disappear” at the same time. Oh well.
In all, it was a wonderful trip. While it kind of sucks when Spin has to be gone just about every week, the frequent flyer miles and hotel points came in nicely this weekend.
I have a few more New York posts I’m working on - news from the weird, an observation on the homeless situation there, yada yada…
For now, it’s good to be HOME.
Urgent Prayer Needed
I got this email from my friend, Kari, who works with a group of believing widows in Kampala, Uganda.
Hello all!
On behalf of the ladies I have come to love so much, I am humbly asking you to pray for them. The government official who wants to develop the land they and 7,000 other people are living on has announced that he will send the military to forceably remove them on Saturday. The ladies and I are now fasting and praying for God to intervene. The land we want to purchase is not ours yet, as we are still bargining the price. The area they live in has some of the poorest people in Kampala. Please pray that God somehow, someway cools this official or that Musevini steps in to stop the eviction. Also pray that violence does not errupt. With so many people in poverty needing housing all at one time, it is quite difficult to find another place to stay. This is just one of those times where the only option is to watch God do something only he can do. Thank you for praying!
Kari
This devotional from Sylvia Gunter came to me in a timely manner. An excerpt:
Do you get impatient with God’s timing? David repeatedly charged God with delay and cried out, “How long must your servant wait?” (Ps. 119:84). Mary and Martha also accused Jesus of being too slow. “Jesus, if You had come as soon as we called, our brother would not have died.” Jesus loved them, and He was not negligent. He knew His timing, and He was awaiting the time when He could show them greater power, greater glory, and a greater revelation of Himself as the Resurrection and the Life (John 11:25). He knew that He had something better for them.
Me again. Please pray for God’s hand of Providence in the widow’s lives today, and for their protection until they are safely on their own property. They have money to buy land, but have not been able to secure something appropriate yet. I am trusting that God is waiting to show Him MORE of Himself, MORE of His power…. we know He is never early and never late….
Kissed by a Cowboy
The Naked Cowboy….
I’m a classy girl.
Always have been.