Well, I am just gonna’ love coming up with these Anne Taintorish captions. Y’all know how much I love her, right?
I spent the morning at U.S. Customs and Immigrations getting fingerprinted AGAIN for our adoption.
The AGAIN part of that last sentence is just plain STUPID. Everyone knows that we’re all born with completely unique fingerprints that never change.
Apparently though, our almighty government thinks they know better than Almighty God, because they say fingerprints “expire” after 15 months.
Great….. so if fingerprints “expire”, how do we ever catch criminals who haven’t been fingerprinted within 15 months?
Do you hear how absurd that sounds? How does stuff like this make sense to people on the government’s payroll??
Anywho, when I went two months ago to “update my fingerprints”, my hands were too soft. And I failed. Have you ever heard of such a thing?
Yep. And I’m pretty sure I failed again today. For real. Which means that, with the government’s unwillingness inability to relocate my fingerprints from 2006, I’ll have to go through some other legal process to file an affadavit attesting to the fact that I am not a risk to society have, in fact, not committed a crime.
And it must also mean that unless a crime is committed with dry, rough, calloused hands, the government cannot find you.
So, I guess I’m free to endanger the world now, what with these lily-soft hands, and all. Not that I’m planning anything that won’t, you know, look like an accident.
Because my good prints? Yep, expired. And have therefore dropped out of the system.
Riiiiiight.
Maybe I should start cleaning my own house? Pick me up a little manual labor for good measure? Would that make for a safer world? Doya’think?
Truth is, my keyboard has probably worn my fingerprints clean off.
But I have a hard time believing that poses a real threat to anyone.
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I soooooo feel you on the USCIS thing. My hubby, the Brit part of our AmeriBrit equation, has been dealing with them for almost 4 years now. After deciding, that whilst I enjoyed immigrating to the UK, my fondness for root beer and all things American was making me incredibly homesick and that we were indeed crazy enough to attempt to navigate the waters of USCIS…AKA, how to immigrate your loved one to the US. Hows that for a run-on sentence? Not quite the same ocean as adopting from a foreign country, but we’re still dealing with the same entity and amount of red tape and purely absurd rules and hoops to jump through.
Take for example, now that he has his green card, after two years of having it, we had to “remove conditions”….in other words, send the gov’t another $600 and in exchange you get to have your biometrics (their fancy way of saying FINGERPRINTS) taken AGAIN (we did this initially when he went through the interview just to be granted the privledge to come and live in the US with his wife) and wait for the arrival of his ten year green card. This was after spending over $2000.00 just to get his British arse into the US.
Now that he’s had his conditions removed and had the ten year GC in his possession for a year, he is now eligible to apply for naturalization. So we get to send in ANOTHER almost $700 and have biometrics taken again! WTH? His “biometrics” (fingerprints) haven’t changed since a year ago! Yet they have somehow expired! Cheeses of Nazareth, you have got to be kidding me?!?!?! So in addition to studying up for the stupid test they give those who are about to naturalize (don’t even get me started on the insipid and inane questions that are asked), he gets to go and get printed for the umpteenth time!
It is madness I tell you….absolute madness!
I LOVE Anne Taintor too — have a bunch of her postcards all over my fridge. She’s definitely the first Desperate Housewife.
By the way, I answered your meme today. See it at
http://epixstix.blogspot.com/2008/04/getting-to-know-you.html
And thanks for the tag!
P.S. Good luck with the adoption! My thoughts and prayers are with you.