And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

I had an offer to guest blog from an unlikely source this week.

But I didn’t really feel like I could want to say no to my man. Because, I think it has intriguing potential.

I feel a little like Mozart turning my new piece over to the Prince of Austria to butcher try his hand at. Remember that scene in Amadeus? Mozart is hovering over the Prince, clearly doing all he can to restrain his impulse to jump in and seize control……

Yah. That’s me.

But here he is. My Spin Doctor.

I’ve given him strict parameters on what he is allowed to write about…. and I hope I don’t regret this, but who am I to bite the hand that feeds me?

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Hello, everyone.

 

Pleased to be with you while Soliloquy is free from my reign of terror out of town visiting relatives. So, what do you want me to shamelessly reveal to know about Soliloquy? I think she’s covered an immense amount of territory with her Q&A session. I even learned a couple things…like those trips to Mexico and Israel you’re planning…we’ll talk when you get home. By the way, my favorite dinner is any dinner involving margaritas spent alone with you.

 

One of Soliloquy’s “bloggy” friends submitted a question about how we met. I’ll start my guest appearance there.

 

It’s a simple story. We met at church. I had a summer job – fresh after graduating from college – as a junior high associate “pastor.” The year I graduated from college, the U.S. was in the throes of a massive recession and there were NO entry level jobs available anywhere.

 

My job was essentially to goof-off with the junior high boys, including Soliloquy’s brother, The Donald, for the summer. I earned a whopping $230 per month, which didn’t leave much discretionary income for dating. I don’t think that would even cover the zipper on Soliloquy’s new giraffe purse.

 

Despite the meager earnings, it was a great job. I played tennis or golf (greens fees were reimbursed in the name of the Lord’s work) almost every day, enjoyed home-cooked meals at students’ homes every night, and nearly every student in the program tried to set me up with their older sister. Except The Donald. You see, back in junior high, he was a problem, and he got sick of me trying to be the solution. The only thing he wanted to set me up with was a fresh batch of Ex-Lax brownies.

 

That’s where Soliloquy comes into the story. One day, shortly after our first encounter at church, she concocted a plan to persuade The Donald to invite me over to “watch movies.” Now keep in mind, The Donald inviting me over to watch a movie was akin to Al Gore inviting George W. Bush over for an evening of scrap-booking. I was stunned by the invitation, but felt compelled to go over in an effort to mend fences. I was pleasantly surprised to find Soliloquy there, and attention was soon diverted 100% to her. I honestly can’t even remember what movie was playing in the background. Three months later, we were reserving the church for our wedding, and the rest, as they say, is history.

 

A funny side-bar. Soliloquy and I actually went to the same small college for one year. It was the type of college where you may not know everyone by name, but everyone is a familiar face. She actually became good friends with one of my best friends. Yet, our paths never knowingly crossed. She even attended one of my college soccer games – to watch my good friend play! She had no idea that her future husband was on the field. I often wonder how many times we passed each other in the halls. Imagine if we could TIVO our lives…you know I would rewind straight back to the fall of 1990.

 

Anyway, I’ve now known her for nearly 16 years and we’ll celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary in October. She often proclaims how surprised she is that she’s not sick of me yet. Um…thanks, Sweetheart?

 

On the whole, I’d say that we have a downright blissful marriage. We are certainly FAR from perfect and, ironically, make many of the same mistakes today that we made 15 years ago. If we’ve made progress in any one area, it’s that we are both more willing to admit our mistakes and seek forgiveness before we seek revenge. Frankly, it’s so much easier to simply own-up to our shortcomings, than it is to convince each other that we’re perfect. That’s way too much work!

 

Despite our generally blissful marriage, on many levels, Soliloquy remains a complete mystery to me – in the most positive sense of the word “mystery.”

 

This whole blogging thing is a perfect example. I’ve known that she could write well for a long time. She regularly makes me laugh. She’s very introspective – always has been. And, she’s all about authenticity. Nothing makes her crazier than pointless small-talk. However, never have I seen all four of those qualities in action together…until the creation of this blog. It mystifies me to see this new side of Soliloquy, and has opened a new door into her soul for me.

 

Today, I am one of her most devoted readers. The ladies and me…waiting every morning for Soliloquy’s most recent post. It’s mystifying.

 

As an added bonus, thanks to the encouragement of her “bloggy” friends, she’s getting a chest augmentation. That’s funny, Spin Doctor, but don’t forget to delete this paragraph before posting.

 

What’s also mystifying about Soliloquy is that she and I could not be any more different. I don’t know if there is any scientific evidence behind the cliché – opposites attract – if there isn’t, then put us on the petri dish, because our list of differences is long and significant.

 

For example, I love sports. I watch sports. I play sports. I read about sports. I attend live sporting events. Soliloquy would rather set her hair on fire than have anything to do with sports (maybe that’s why she has no recollection of seeing me at the previously described soccer game, she was probably busy painting her nails). As you know she’s an “indoor girl.” Unless of course it involves Stink playing lacrosse, where another mysterious side of her emerges. I even heard her trash-talking at Stink’s recent lacrosse tournament.

 

Soliloquy demands requires 9-10 hours of sleep every night. I require 6-7 hours. Our differences become dramatically apparent on Saturday mornings. If I’m still in bed at 8 a.m., I feel guilty and get anxious. If Soliloquy is woken up before 8 a.m….well…just don’t wake her up before 8 a.m. on a Saturday.

 

When someone close to us has an apparent need, Soliloquy instantly asks the question, “what can I do to help you?” My response is generally, “you agreed to do WHAT?”

 

I regularly make deposits into our various bank accounts. She regularly makes withdrawals from our various bank accounts.

 

I can make friends with just about anyone and have a long list of people that I am quite comfortable hanging out with. Soliloquy is careful about the relationships she invests in and likes having a short-list of confidantes.

 

My preferred ministry is with students. Her preferred ministry is anything BUT students.

 

I like breakfast. She doesn’t do breakfast. She loves to shop. My shopping threshold is 10 minutes, give or take 10 minutes. She has an amazing sense of direction, regardless of where she is. I still get lost running errands 5 miles from our house. She enjoys numbers and spread-sheets. I haven’t taken a math class since 11^th grade – intentionally. I’m always on time. She – as she has admitted in this space – is time management challenged.

 

I could go on and on. Yet, despite the mystery of our differences, I’m madly in love with her. You would think, how can an extroverted, directionally-challenged, sports-nut get along so well with an introverted, bank-account-siphoning shopper? What can we possibly do together?

 

It’s a mystery. A wonderful, ongoing mystery.

 

And, I attribute my affection for her to an even greater mystery: The mystery that God has created me for her and her for me. It’s undeniable and unexplainable.

 

Bottom line, Soliloquy is a mystery to me…and I love it.

Dr.