Have you ever asked God for patience?
No? Well, then you’re wiser than most. Because if you ask for patience, He’ll most certainly give you opportunities to learn patience – and those aren’t always fun.
Spin once asked for patience. God gave him me. (snort)
Humility ranks right up there, too.
Never, ever under any circumstance ask God to humble you – unless you’re ready to take what He dishes out be humbled.
Spin and I have been asked to mentor an engaged couple at our church for a minimum of seven sessions before they are married in November.
Well, whose brilliant idea was that?! ‘Cause it not something I ever would have signed up for.
I mean unless I’m asked to help someone perfect the art of screwing up, I’m not sure what I have to offer.
I tried to argue. But arguing with God is like trying to put out a grass fire with a squirt gun.
“Couldn’t I just teach the young dear to cook or something, Lord? Or quilt? I can quilt!”
“You’re asking me, Lord, to teach this woman how to submit to her husband? I don’t know that I’m exactly qualified……”
Spin insisted we accept. And they came last night.
The fact that my house was in perfect order for a showing yesterday was largely misleading for this poor girl. I really felt the need to make an excuse so as not to misrepresent reality.
I mean, really, if we’re supposed to journey alongside them as they define and dispell some of their expectations for marriage, how is it helpful to come across as Ward and June Cleaver?
For real.
What was I supposed to say?
“Please, come in. Excuse the neat and tidy model home. It’s just that ….. we’re selling the house. It’s never like this. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Oh, and I really should also tell you – it may not look like it from the outside, but I’m such a loser. I have so many flaws and insecurities. How do you feel about being mentored by an idiot?”
“My god-like husband is what really makes this marriage work. I wouldn’t expect yours to do the laundry or insist on having a house cleaner. I don’t think it’s normal.”
You know I didn’t say anything like that. Of course, I didn’t.
But I wanted to.
Oh alright. I’ll admit, the evening was lovely. But I’m telling you – something about rolling out your achievements and more importantly, your failures in marriage is not only humbling, but makes you feel every day of your 37+ years.
Where did the last 15 years go?
I feel like that was just us and I made the horrible mistake of blinking.
I guess if you qualify solely on the basis of AGE for premarital mentoring – I’ve got more to offer than I thought.
Either that or I need more humbling…..
One session down. Six to go.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I would be there right with you…I wouldn’t have anything to offer in the way of mentoring. However, I’m sure you have plenty to offer or God wouldn’t have asked you to do this!
Annabelle @ Christian Mommas last blog post..“Turtles outside”
We have that mentoring program at our church too-
I imagine that would be pretty hard to do-
They might run if they came to the DRAMAPOND for mentoring- Real life with kids might really freak a young twenty-something out- I mean I t would have freaked me out if it was me!
Marriage still freaks me out! Ha
That is really cool. It have been great to have something like that offered when we were first married and, well, stupid.
You will do an amazing job. Honesty and love…that’s what they’ll need!!
I think you know how I might feel about this. Be excited that God (and Spin) both feel you have something to offer. People need to hear the truth, and to understand that it is not a ‘picture of perfection’. I think you are more qualified than someone who is ‘trying’ to look and smell good.
Keep trusting and just give it up to Him who has called you.
OOOOO boy would I love to mentor a young couple! Heck I would love to get my hands on every young couple getting married come to think of it! First I would tell them that Marriage (and motherhood) is NOTHING like the brochure. It is hard work to just keep from drowning. And like swimming it is rewarding and fun….but HARD. Did I mention HARD? …..and then there is the tongue bitting. You’d think I could have had mine sewn back together 100 times for all the tongue bitting that goes on around here. But it gets easier as the years go by- or maybe I don’t care as much that he might chew with his mouth open anymore. Then I would ask the little niave darlings if they have any tatoos…when they say no…I will ask them why? and they will say- “well it is too permanent”…………………I will use this little lesson in DIVORCE is not an option. Marriage is not a dress rehersal or test drive. It is a permanent state of being. A life sentence…..next I would tell the bride to be to smile- because I will be taking her photo for her membership card for The Glamorous Life Association….remember girlies…it is a lifetime membership!
Marcy Massura-The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..Before and After
i would love to mentor a young couple… to let them know that nothing is perfect. even those that make it sound like they live in a fairytale, i bet you big money that it isn’t behind closed doors.
mah-meees last blog post..Fight the Frump
oh I remember those classes! It was fun, they are surely having a blast with you.
and boy do I know what you’re saying — if I ask the Lord to humble me right now? He’s gonna tell me I’m already as zeroed out as I can get. At least I hope so!
that girls last blog post..When Kids Knock You Down With Surprise
I’m sure you’ll do great with all that. And yes, time does go by so fast. Beau and I will be married 14 yrs. in Dec. It seems like just yesterday we were those giddy 20-something-year-olds. I think it just all gets better with time.
By the way, I’m adding you to my blogroll. I’ve enjoyed reading. Keep keepin’ it real!
Soliloquy….
I love your blog.
But mostly, I love how you have an intimate understanding of God without being all bland and blithe and uhm, a Pollyanna-esque sheep who follows blindly. Yes, I did just say that…so many women are all “…♫ ♩ and give God the glory, glory…” that it takes away the REALNESS and is hard to relate to. I probably am a bit TOO real sometimes (as in, I sound like a carnal natured Jezebel often) but I’m told by outsiders that it makes Christianity appealing to them. And I’m all about sharing His love in a way that makes others desire Him.
Keep on keepin’ on!
Ramblin’ Reds last blog post..♫ ♩Vacation, All I Ever Wanted…♫ ♩
Oh how I wish we would’ve had mentors. I doubt it would’ve helped much though.
d-anns last blog post..Happy Birthday Little Sister
God will never put you somewhere or call you to do something that He doesn’t think you’re ready for. Ask Him for the words, and they will come.
And, you’ll learn way more in this process than you think you will.
Headless Moms last blog post..Class of 2008
hey. left you something by my blog. if you feel like playing.
I never ever ask God for patience–that would KILL me, really. I am not sure if I could mentor a young couple–I could scare them to use real birth control and not the never reliable family planning we did (it gave us 4 kids).
Lisas last blog post..Feel Good Friday June 27th