I wonder sometimes if what I’m experiencing anew is cynicism or an appreciation for healthy boundaries.
Ever read that book? Boundaries? It should be required reading ANNUALLY for all God’s people, amen and amen.
The feeling of “being done” with certain unhealthy situations and people – is it wrong? I don’t think Jesus is ever “done” with any one of us.
Or is it a part of defining healthy boundaries? Because He certainly “shook the dust from His feet” and moved on from where He wasn’t received.
And told his followers to do the same. (Mark 6:11)
I hate the question ‘What Would Jesus Do?’
Um – He was GOD. Am I supposed to know? Hellooo???
He knew the hearts of those He called out of sin and into righteousness and He was sinless.
Well, I don’t and I’m not.
Neither am I under the mistaken notion that it’s my job to be the Holy Spirit.
Can I really, as a selfish person, call someone out on their selfishness?
Can I, as a person who struggles with pride, name someone elses’ pride?
Can I, with my critical spirit label another judgmental?
Sure, I could. But I think that would make me what we call a hypocrite in these parts.
So – yeah. WWJD? Totally unfair.
Neither, however, are we called to tolerate sin.
I guess it’s the balance between being responsible to one another than being responsible for one another.
We speak the Truth in love and then let God be God. It’s his loving-kindness that leads us to repentance, after all. Not the judgment of man.
Well, first-born, co-dependent, overly-responsible me is free – and happy for it – but is, at the same time, trying to figure out how to be okay with all that goes with said freedom.
I gotta’ tell you that it goes against the very grain of who I am – or rather, was – to look back and see God’s people who refuse to walk in their freedom. I don’t always know what to do with that.
I feel like I’m running free but looking back over my shoulder to make sure things (people??) are okay, and that’s when I fall.
It’s like that training wheel thing. I’m fine on two wheels until I realize LAWD, I’M DOING IT! and that’s when I crash and skin up my knees.
Specifically, I’ve come up against some resistance to some pretty clear new boundaries. I was encouraged to find (and I quote from the book Boundaries), “Running into resistance is a good sign that you are doing what you need to do.”
Why?
“When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens. They hurt….. they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be a hard thing for you to watch. But when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them.
Sometimes, the hard truth is that they will not talk to you anymore, or they will leave the relationship if they can no longer control you. This is a true risk. God takes this risk every day. He says that he will only do things the right way and that He will not participate in evil. And when people choose their own ways, He lets them go. Sometimes we have to do the same.”
BINGO.
So back to WWJD? He lets us go our own way when it differs from His. But He is ever-merciful, waiting patiently, expectantly for our repentance and our willingness to live within the boundaries He has established.
So, resistance? Bring it. So long as it’s resistance to the Word of God – I ain’t got no worries.
I’m telling you – there’s some GOOD STUFF in this book.
Thanks for hanging in with me today.
I promise that my Humiliated post will be up tomorrow.
(cringe, shudder, blush)
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Interesting food for thought. I think the shaking the dust off quote was referring to non-believers who refused to listen and believe. But I suppose it could be applied to believers who are very difficult. I have a situation I’m thinking of where for my own sanity (yes, SANITY) I had to let go of a relationship that was toxic. We are both believers, but I just cannot maintain a friendship with this person. There is not animosity. That would be wrong. But a healthy distance is necessary.
It’s HARD. Good words here. I need that book!
Jo-Lynne,
Confession: When I read your comment, my first thought was – “Oh my gosh – did I take this out of context? I need to go back and dig a little deeper.”
But then I was all worried about how to justify/ explain what I meant, because I didn’t want to admit out loud that I was possibly (gasp) wrong.
Ahem, a little sin we call PRIDE.
Oh, Lord Jesus – keep showing me my sin!
Please forgive me. This isn’t about anyone being right or wrong. It’s about Truth.
After confessing my willingness to be wrong to the Lord, I went back to Mark 6 and asked Him to show me His Truth.
I humbly submit the following.
The Word doesn’t actually refer to any one group of people in this passage. Back up a little in Mark 6 and we find that Jesus was speaking from experience in His own hometown synagogue.
We can assume He was speaking to a “religious” lot, yet people took offense at what He spoke. Jesus was amazed by their lack of faith, and as a result, His power was affected and he moved on from where Truth was not received.
Additionally, Jesus’ instruction to his disciples to “shake the dust from your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them” was not intended to be executed in a haughty, condemning way.
The Message says it this way – Mark 6:11, “If you’re not welcomed, not listened to, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way.”
I’m not in disagreement with you. I definitely believe non-believers fall into this group, but I am trying to broaden the scope of my own understanding. I believe many “religious” people are unable/ unwilling to receive Truth, and I’ll include myself in that lot at times.
I confess that I tip the scales daily in the Pharisaical direction. I want so desperately to be righteous and get it all right, but many times simply having a right heart – the thing Jesus cares about MOST – gets circumvented in favor of “legalistic righteousness”.
I have so very far to go. Admittedly, I’m using this blog to help process some of it. That said, I’m gonna’ screw it up – not only in my life and thinking, but on my blog as well.
Thanks for the accountability. Ultimately, the most important thing to me is Truth.
This was a timely post for me. The Husband and I are establishing boundaries with two believers who are rather toxic. It’s painful, but it feels like the Holy Spirit is right there with us, too.
I loved the bike analogy.
Tonggu Mommas last blog post..Fishy Fourth!
It’s a journey, my friend. Taking the steps and learning along the way is the most important part.
I really want to commend you on putting all of this out there. I am struggling with finding my ministry, my voice, my path- in relation to blogging and in my life and I love the fact that you are just putting it out there. I get scared, then post something frivolous.
Sometimes annonymity (how do you spell that word?) is good!
Headless Moms last blog post..The AllMediocre Meme
Sol – I didn’t mean that you were wrong or were taking anything out of context. I was thinking out loud, and perhaps I sounded more cantankerous than I intended.
In addition, I did not take time to look in the Bible at all before I spouted that off, it was just my impression of the passage from hearing it preached on over time.
I agree with everything you are saying in your interpretation. Especially that it is not meant to be a haughty shake the dust off, rather the wisdom of knowing when your words are falling on deaf ears, so to speak, and quietly backing off.
Good work – taking the time to look it up and make a thoughtful response, as opposed to me, just winging it with my very fallible memory.
Jo-Lynne (Musings of a Housewife)s last blog post..Partying In NYC
I love your thoughts on the WWJD thing. I totally agree!
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