Ask me why the neighbor drove up the street yesterday and gave my husband the finger.
Because he was out in the yard hanging Christmas lights.
I know. Please don’t start. I have 16 years experience with this sort of thing. Trust me, it’s not worth it.
(Plus, it’s hard to argue with hanging Christmas lights in 65 degree weather as opposed to 40 degree weather.)
So, every year, I concede and allow tolerate this particular quirk of Spin’s.
When I got home from the ATL I’m a Stalker, How About You? party, my house had been “Griswalded”.
Maybe I should change Spin’s name to Clark.
I came into the house fully prepared with this post to, you know, garner some sympathy and support from my ever rational readers.
Only to find this………..
I was gone FOUR HOURS, y’all.
Spin has NEVER been in so much trouble. Ever.
It’s a new low for him.
Every flippin’ year for the last fifteen years of marriage I have conceded to the tree going up the weekend before Thanksgiving. I think it rather generous of me, do you not agree?
So, November 8th??????? has me not just mildly annoyed. I’m hoppin’ MAD.
Seriously. Tell me this is a righteous anger.
Would YOU want a Christmas tree in your house right now??? Would you?
I didn’t think so.
(I think I may actually have scared the kids with my rant against their father upon my return home. I may or may not have shrieked at Nina, “You let this happen? I’m so disappointed!” – to which she replied, “Mom, I wanted to go to a movie.” Stink asked if I was going to spank him.)
Spin’s excuse? “I thought I’d give you something to blog about.”
Well, yeah – damn straight I’m blogging it – but that doesn’t make me happy about it.
As for generosity? Strangely, I’m not “feeling it”. And I’m not sure I’ll be “feeling it” until, oh say the weekend before Thanksgiving, if you know what I mean.
I issued the first ultimatum of our marriage last night.
“The tree comes down tomorrow or I invoke 1 Corinthians 7:5. You choose. And get me a glass of wine while you’re at it.”
(Looks like it might be a two week stretch of *ahem* prayer and fasting.)
And because I know he’s going to rebut this post, let me address one more thing.
This isn’t the only streak of “freak” in my sweet husband.
Assuredly as I live and breathe, on the night of December 25th, every bit of Christmas decor will be back in storage.
Spin is so anal, that as soon as Christmas is done, he’s over it. The very idea of the task hanging over his head is more than he can bear, so he tackles it posthaste. You know, in order to avoid the voices in his head twitching.
Don’t let him convince you otherwise. He looks and even seems mostly normal. (I did only say ‘mostly’.)
While he may not be able to control his post-holiday urge to get the house un-decorated, he most certainly can control when the tree goes up.
He did this for the sole purpose of aggravating me. I know this because last year, he put the tree up (TWO weeks before Thanksgiving) one afternoon while I was napping. He had the kids in on it and they turned it into a most clandestine affair.
Good Lord, if he tries to outdo himself each year from here on out, how long will it be before our tree goes up in August??
Freak.
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ha ha, I have to say that that’s quite funny really! I drove through the next town last night and saw that some hotels already had their Christmas decorations up, we even spotted a waiter through the window – he had a red santa hat on!!! Good grief!! And we over the pond don’t even have something like Thanksgiving to say “oh ok, that’s alright then”!!
The grocery store had Christmas music playing yesterday. A bit too early for me!
That’s the benefit of a live tree. Can’t go up too soon or it would be dead before Christmas.
Living in CO, it makes sense to think about outside lights though. So, I can’t argue too much on that one. But, the tree???? No wonder he rips it down on the 25th. If I had it up that long, the cobwebs would be driving me crazy too.
Even if it annoys you, maybe your kids will grow up remembering Daddy as the silly man who put the tree up in November!
Some of our neighbors have their lights put up and turned on already. It just makes me laugh they they turn them ON…but it is very pretty!
Just look at it this way–instead of enjoying the tree for 1 month, you get to snuggle next to your honey in the light of the tree at night for two months!
Just be glad it comes DOWN in a timely fashion. One year, our first year with our fake tree, it stayed up until FEBRUARY. I sh*t you not. We almost hung hearts on it and made it a Valentine’s tree until we couldn’t take it anymore!
HappyCamperss last blog post..The Fan Club Came & Went
Wasn’t that just a splendid post, Soliloquy.
Now, it’s time for a rebuttal. Here’s why I put up the tree yesterday:
1. I’m a busy guy with limited spare time. Yesterday, I just so happened to have oodles of spare time — a rarity. So, I emptied all our outdoor flower pots, got both cars cleaned and washed, put the lights on outside the house, AND at the end of the day, put up the Christmas tree. It was a productive day. Who knows when another day like this will come along. We are out of town next weekend, and we just don’t know what the weekend after that might bring, and then it’s Thankgiving. Yes, it’s a little early, but that’s not the point. The point is…the job is done. Thank. You. Very. Much.
2. I enjoy Christmas. So, yes…I got a little carried away, but heck, I wanted to maximize the Christmas season, since all this stuff has to come down on Dec. 26th.
3. I thought Soliloquy would enjoy the Christmas “feel” around the house given what she posted last Friday about the red Starbucks cups. She stated that the red Starbucks cups “restored her joy,” and she even titled the post “Every Kind of Happy.” I’m confused…Starbucks red Christmas cups on Nov. 7th = restoration of joy…Christmas tree in house on Nov. 8th = husband a total freak. Someone has got to help me out here…
4. I was giving her material to blog about. Not really…but this is a new phenonmenon in my life, where I have to constantly wonder if the things I do will be published on the internet for the entertainment of others. And, I must add that there are certain times and places when you don’t want to here those 4 magical words — “I’m gonna blog that.”
5. Let me explain the “tearing down process” on the 25th. I know it sounds extreme, but in reality it’s very logical. Last year, we left for a trip early on the 26th to visit Soliloquy’s family. Dismantling Christmas on the 25th was the only way I could distract myself from horrors of what lay in front of me for the next week! (Okay…that’s not entirely true, but it will make Soliloquy laugh.) Truth is…we left early on the 26th, and returned on Jan. 1st. I had to work on Jan. 2nd, which means that the soonest I could get to the Christmas dismantling project would be Jan. 5th…and I’m sorry, but I just didn’t want this project hanging over my head when I returned from the out-laws. Call me a freak, but the job was done. Makes sense to me. It’s not like Soliloquy was gonna tackle this job, where you, Soliloquy?
Anyway, that’s my rebuttal. Just thought Soliloquy’s readers should have both sides of the story…so you can determine on your own if I’m a freak.
Spin
Spin 1
Soliloquy zippo
Hey, Spin – if you have some more spare time, come to my house. I’d love some help cleaning out my garage. (Sorry, Soliloquy – we are on such a backlog of chores here that I’m envious of you today. Our tree might not go UP until April….)
RLRs last blog post..Glad I took some pictures at the Fall Festivals….
SO funny! I woke up the other night at 3:30 to hear CHRISTMAS SONGS. My husband found out that a station in Philadelphia is playing round the clock Christmas songs because the Phillies won the world series. I told him that was GREAT, but we absolutely were not going to be listening to Christmas songs all thru the night. What is wrong with boys? : )
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Nobody and RLR -
Frankly, I’m disappointed in how easily you fell for my husband’s Spin Doctoring. (He didn’t get the name without good reason.)
How he chooses to “Spin” this doesn’t change the fact that there is a FREAKING CHRISTMAS TREE IN MY HOUSE!!!!
I most enjoyed that! I hope my husband doesn’t see this. He was flipping through the channels in October and ended up watching QVC because they were doing a Christmas show. Our rule is that we will decorate and start playing Christmas music at Thanksgiving, but that means he asks every day between now to change the rule. He knows that I’ll cave in the weekend before Thanksgiving…
Is it too soon to wish you a Merry Christmas? = )
Jennys last blog post..My Hero
This should all seem very shocking to me but it’s not. My aunt has the entire inside of her house decorated for Christmas the first weekend in October. OCTOBER!!! While it is very pretty I think three months of decorations is a bit much. The outside of her house thought doesn’t get decorated until Thanksgiving, thank goodness, I wouldn’t want the neighbors to start giving her the finger!
rrmamas last blog post..Moving out, sort of
Hey, if that’s the freakiest thing he does, that’s not so bad, right? Perspective, baby!
Do you think he’d buy the latest idea of a Halloween Tree? Perhaps that would distract him for a bit? Just a thought…..
=-)
Urban Moms last blog post..We Interrupt This Blog to Bring You This Long-Winded Message
I would LOVE it if I came home to find that my DH had done some Christmas decorating.
) LOVE it, I say! It was nice to meet you!
Karens last blog post..Happy 90th Birthday, Billy Graham!
On the one hand, I completely see your side of the story: it is WAY too early for Christmas decorations.
Yet, strangely, I’m kind of jealous. My husband has never once put a light on a tree or packed up a decoration, and I HATE with a passion the putting of the lights on the tree part.
So, I don’t really know whose side to take here!
rachaels last blog post..TGIF
Would you believe that I came home today to the EXACT SAME sight in my great room?!? Tree up, lights on and kids clammoring to put on the ornaments. (I think my husband was desperate for an activity to keep the troops busy while I was whoopin’ it up in ATL.)
It does feel just a smidge early — I’m so not feeling the Christmas spirit on Nov. 9. But really, you can’t blame Spin for taking it all down the evening of Dec. 25, because girlfriend, I will be doing the same thing. I will be so SICK of looking at that tree for 8 weeks, that really, I’ll be WAY over it too.
I am sooo laughing at the 2 of you right now.
Would hate a tree up right now, but you gotta love the man who can plan ahead. Headless Dad calls me when he has to plan anything (read anything short of business appts.) because he says I’m the “Master Calendar Keeper.” Cute, but equally annoying sometimes.
Okay. I am going to tell you something- that I hope will help you feel better about Spin. Or at least help you see the silver lining in all this…
My husband refuses to help put up any lights, christmas trees or decorations. He mocks me as I stand on the ladder with my staple gun…’saying why do you make so much work for yourself’ and ‘you are just going to have to take them down in a month anyway’….But I just smile and go on about my merry way…and why? Because I live for holidays. I LOVE ALL OF IT. And I even considered putting up my lights and tree this weekend too! And WHY? Well…it is a lot of work and I like to do it when I am in the mood and I WANT to do it. Not when I feel like I HAVE to do it. I am sure Spin is the same way. I am sure you someday see how cool it is that even with his busy life and all he does he took the time to do this stuff….okay maybe you won’t…..
Maybe you are reading this right now and thinking…GREAT now my friend AND my husband are freaks!!!
Tell spin I will be over around New Years to help him decorate for Easter.
Marcy -
I already knew you were a freak.
I knew it the minute I couldn’t find pantylines.
welllllll, I understand Spin, sure isn’t anything to fuss about. But sure is funny to read about and it was a good post. See, I’m smiling. He did good, he helped you out lots in the comment section too.
I dare you to switch out the tree after this Christmas with something heavy and cumbersome and NOT Christmas-ISh. That should at least hold him off a few more hours next holiday season.
And, while you are at it…tell him you want a present every day til Christmas once decorations start going up. Good presents. It’s like a new rule or something. This could be very good for you (and if you don’t want the presents, just fwd them on to me …I’ll save you from them. Just for you.)
Ashley – You are abso-freakin’-lutely BRILLIANT!
A present every day, you say?
That makes Spin two days behind already!
And what’s even better??? He just AGREED TO IT!!!
So won’t that be fun to post about EACH and EVERY day???
Stay tuned!!!
Marcy –
You have laid out a very logical assessment of the situation that makes a lot of sense…and I’m quite sure that logical readers will embrace your assessment…enthusiastically…everyone but Soliloquy that is…
I doubt Soliloquy will embrace your assessment…no…Soliloquy is not in the embracing mood…she mutters “freak” under her breath every she passes me in the house.
Unfortunately, It may be Easter before she gets over this…
Cordially,
Spin
Can I borrow Spin? I absolutely love Christmas! But I despise all the decorating and undecorating.
Alicias last blog post..Stop and smell the…..
Oh my, I’ve laughed until I cried!! You two are HYSTERICAL!
First of all, I have a GRINCH for a Hubby! Don’t get me wrong, I love him to death, and he’s the most generous person I know, but the ONLY thing he does to help with the decorating is to get the tree out of the basement and bring it upstairs! And this is done only after I have nicely asked him about 20 times. By this time, it’s CHRISTMAS EVE!! While I stand on the ladder on my tippy toes, the only thing I hear is for me to please not get in his tv viewing way.
He DID put up lights on the outside ONCE, and they stayed up for 4 YEARS!! I kid you not, and that was 3 YEARS AGO! I’ve even tried to “guilt” him into doing it by commenting that if our 1 LEGGED neighbor can do it, why can’t he?!! NOTHING!!
Last year, since I knew what I was in for when it came time to taking it all down (with the help of 2 overeager little boy helpers), I put it off until MARCH! Yep, I did! I thought if he had to look at for that long, he’d HELP ME! NO SUCH LUCK!
So, dear Soliloquy, I completely understand how hard it must be to see the tree in your house this early, but take it from me, it’s much better than what I have to put up with at my house. I’d give my right arm to come home to such a sight! No joke! I left for a few hours on Sat and came home to a living room that looked like a tornado had hit it, and a kitchen that was TRASHED! Plus, I ended up having to bathe the dog, after I had nicely asked him to do it! There is a much worse side than having to deal with Spin’s freakish nature.
Anyway, thanks for the laugh today. I’ll take Spin at my house ANY DAY!
We won’t even get into when he last cleaned the cars!
*gasp* does this mean your tree is artificial?
Lisa- Domestic Accidents last blog post..Iron housewife
Yes, Lisa. Yes it does.
The tree is, in fact, artificial.
It’s just WRONG on every level.
Do you understand now, the enormity of this debacle??
*snicker* I had to look up 1 Cor 7:5, but I had a feeling about the nature of the passage. Had to call my mom and read your post to her.
jubilees last blog post..
After briefly meeting Soliloquy at the blog party I knew I needed to frequent her site more often. But now I am just dying to know more about Spin. Giggle. I love the rebuttal and have to say he has a justified point in the tear down from last year. Nov. 8th does seem dreadfully early but at least the man is doing the job you know and without complaint! I am a fan, I have to say:)
erika chapmans last blog post..Don’t Miss Out!
I totally would lose my mind. I can’t stand my house being rearranged for Christmas for very long. My decorations go up in Mid-December-ish and come down very shortly after Christmas.
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Bloggy Withdrawal
I know this won’t be popular…
I LOVE SPIN!
That is seriously the funniest thing. ever.
Ever.
And ever.
Amen.
texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvanas last blog post..This potluck is brought to you by the letter A
Although I wouldn’t want my tree up this early I would love to come home to it done. I love Christmas time, but I can not stand putting up the tree. I have visions of cookies, hot chocolate, laughter and Christmas carols all filling our home as we joyfully put up the tree as a family. However, that never seems to be the way it turns out. We have no cookies or hot chocolate just fights and screams over the way the lights were hung, where the tree should be, should we put up the nativity this year or not, etc. Never fun! Maybe one day it will be as I envision or I’ll walk into my house after a night out with friends and my hubby will be a freak like yours – I would love it! I do have a friend that has you beat though, she WILLINGLY put up her tree the day after Halloween … not that’s FREAKY!
Vanessas last blog post..Thankful…
i loved seeing all your posts in my reader when my internet finally sprang back to life.
does he just love christmas that much or what’s the real deal? niel isn’t a huge fan, so i cannot even imagine him doing any such thing on his own, never mind so early.
aleces last blog post..four-minute friday:
Alrighty, I’ve been looking for some new reading material, and it looks like I’ve hit the jackpot here! This post cracked me up! How’s the fast going???
My husband and I put our tree up the day after Thanksgiving, and take it down immediately following the epiphany. See, we have the rules, so it makes it more relaxing. You’ve got to follow the rules in my house. My husband would also be clark w griswold if I allowed it. We watch that movie every year…we can easily quote half the lines. I think there may be a little clark in every man, don’t you agree? Something about the lights and electricity surging through the wires, and the recreational vehicle parked out front. they all like that stuff.
Kristen@nosmallthings last blog post..Because I’m So Kreative…
I want Clark, um, I mean Spin to be my husband! I love love love Christmas, all that red and green in my house. So Cheerful. But in this house, if it gets done, I do it. Soliloquy Honey, – Time for stage two – get even and then stage three – forgive. I have flagged you in my favorites and told all my friends.
A gift a day… hmmmmmmmm
AND, as texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana said AMEN – to a good man and Christmas!
Hilarious. My boyfriend and i are sitting here laughing our asses off! I love Christmas and I do typically go to get a tree the day after Thanksgiving, and if I can’t get a tree then, I get the decorations out and work on the house, and get a tree that weekend. I LOVE it. At least he helps you! And he plans. That’s more than most men.
Tell Shauna I said Hi. I hear she’s there right now having a blast!
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