I'm a Freak

I confess….

I’m a freak. I am. I’m no less of a freak than Spin.

Because once I start the Christmas shopping, I cannot. stop. myself.

Which likely explains my hesitation to kick off the season.

Fear. Wisdom.

How long do you think it will be before Spin comes running to thank me for not starting the spending sooner? This Christmas would have been so much more expensive if I’d been on board back on November 8th when the insanity started.

Unlike Spin, I don’t mind the feeling of undone things hanging over my head. But once I begin them, I can match his obsession ounce for ounce.

Or maybe it’s compulsion.

Once I start, it’s a race to the finish. I desperately want to be able to say I’m done.

Except that subconsciously, I don’t really want to be done.

I want to keep shopping.

Every trip to Target is meant to be my last. Except that without fail, I have a new Target list started before I even make it home. The urgency to be done drives me back to Target.

I’ll make a trip just for Lifesavers. I will. And this is how it goes. Every time. Something catches my eye, invariably throwing the “evenness” of my lists off, thus requiring me to FIND something to buy to restore the balance of the gift list.

The pile under the tree grows and grows and grows.

I will December 25th come not from anticipation, but so I can be free.

This year, I had to get Spin a new stocking just to hold it all.

I told you. I’m a freak.

Every year we say we’re going to pare back. But we I never do. It’s a vicious cycle. Right up until December 24th. My generous Christmas spirit and my impulsive, compulsive nature are one.

I prefer to think of it as a spiritual gift.

Have I mentioned that gifts are my love language? Only twelve hundred times? Yeah – well, I don’t care if there’s NUTHIN’ under the tree with my name on it. Shopping for others is a gift unto itself. A gift for me.

12 shopping days left until Christmas.

But I’m done.