Just Hand Over The Bunny And No One Gets Hurt

I know I promised pictures today.  But I’m a mess. A hormonal mess.

And besides, the memories are still too painful fresh. I just can’t bring myself to relive it quite yet. I’m having some trouble coming to grips with the fact that Mexico is nothing more than a memory now.  I can’t believe it’s over.

I’d really like to think y’all don’t want me driving off a bridge, so let’s just wait one more day, okay?

I’ve got some kinda’ prescription/ hormonal cocktail in my system that had me up with a migraine last night.  I threw up twice and sat quivering in the dark until Spin got up and helped me into a hot bath.  A dark, hot bath.  I never knew light could so closely resemble sharp stabbing knives.

In my corneas.

Oh, and before all of that? I had changed my soaking wet pajamas twice by 3am.  I am convinced that hot flashes are from the pit of hell.

Is this what menopause is all about?  Where do I go to politely decline?

Listen.  Don’t listen to ANYONE who ever tells you that using the pill to alter your cycle around a vacation is a good idea.

Even if that someone is yourself.

And if you have a doctor willing to help you alter your cycle around a vacation, get a second opinion.

Preferably MINE.

It’s a very, very BAD. IDEA.

It was all well and good while ON vacation (emphasis on the good, ahem), but the side effects are now kicking my tail. From tip to toe, I am a disaster.

I woke up this morning drained and feeling very much like I’d been hit by a truck.  Thankfully, a neighbor took Stink to school for me, and I kept Nina home from her Spanish class after hastily teaching her how to politely order a margarita and say thank you for it……. in Spanish.

What?  That totally counts as responsible home schooling.  She learned something, didn’t she?

Then I went back to bed.

I did take Nina to English and go get Stink from school this afternoon.  But don’t think I didn’t consider one of the many bridges I crossed.

Yes, it’s really been THAT bad.  I’ve maxed out the 24 hour limit on ibuprofen and Pamprin, the heating pad and seat heaters in my car for cramping is exacerbating the hot flashes, and I can’t even LOOK at the chardonnay that certainly didn’t help last night. What a bitter betrayal. Please pray that this hasn’t ruined wine for me for the rest of forever.

My last resort for self-medication is one of the kids’ chocolate bunnies.

And if one doesn’t do the trick then both of them.