Parenting Advice From Stink and Nina

This post is part of MamaKat’s Writer’s Workshop.

3.)Share a piece of unsolicited parenting advice…only I’m (MamaKat) soliciting it.

I really thought my parenting tip from earlier in the week would garner at least a comment from MamaKat, if not the whole Hallelujah chorus.  It really seemed up her alley, considering her fascination with crack and all.

I’ll try again.

Don’t ream your kid out for losing his temper.  It’s a little like berating him for being high while you light up a joint.

That happened this week.  I reamed my kid out for losing his temper.  And then I had to apologize. (grimace)  More on that later.

And yet, Mama Kat still wants more…..

I decided to poll my kids (Stink, 10 and Nina, 14) on this one and wrap it up myself at the end.

What is something that I do well as your mom?

Stink: “Hm. (long pause… longer than I was expecting) You are good at punishing and giving the right punishment to teach me a lesson  And I know I can definitely talk to you about anything.” (Annnnnd he redeems the delay.)

Nina:  “Um. You’re really good at being there when I ask stupid questions.  You’re really patient with me. And you make it easy to be open.”

What is your favorite thing to do with me?

Stink: “Definitely playing cards together and snuggling.”

Nina: “I love watching our shows together.  I also like to go get pedicures with you and go out to lunch.”

What is something that I can improve on as a mom?

Stink: “I think that you give too many warnings. I feel like I get away with things too much and then I feel guilty.” (crickets….. Who is this kid? And who is his mother?! )

Nina: “If I’m really upset about something, I don’t like it when you try to lighten my mood by joking sarcastically.” (Who me?!  Heh.)

Got any dirty laundry you want to air?

Stink:  “You get frustrated with me and yell.  I think you get carried away with anger. That’s just occasionally, though.” (Back-pedal, boy. Faster!!)

Nina: “What really bothers me is when you get frustrated with me over little things that don’t matter.” (What? Like leaving Dixie cups of water and puddles on your bathroom floor for the damned dogs?? Exactly how “little” is a cracked tailbone??)

What parenting advice would YOU give to parents?

Stink: “Always discipline your child, and by that I mean spank them if you need to, but do it without being angry at them. If you don’t, your kid is going to end up being a brat.” (Why yes, he is a 40-year old in a 10-year old’s body.)

Nina: “Be patient and listen when your kids need to talk.  Be careful how you respond, because kids can take what you say pretty seriously.”

Is there anything I do that you absolutely hate??

Stink: “I hate it when you call me Dude.” (Dude, really? That’s so sad….)

Nina: “Don’t get mad.  It frustrates me when you ask me too many questions about things I don’t want to talk about.” (Like math camp?  Noted.)

If you’re impressed, don’t be. What you may not know about me is that I am a master-brainwasher.

Here’s my own advice…. And it’s the best I have to offer.  For real.

• Pray spontaneously with your kids.  Whether it’s for a difficult decision, fear or hurt they are struggling with personally or it’s for whomever an ambulance speeding by you is heading toward. Nothing is too small to bring to God.
• Tell your kids that you would choose them out of all the kids you know.
• Speak confidently about the great future God has in store for your child.
• Don’t be afraid to apologize to your kids. It goes a long, long way in keeping their trust and modeling humility.
• Hold your kids accountable when you find out they have wronged someone…. even someone outside your family. Wrong is Wrong. And Right is Right. This has only happened a few times with my kids…. because it worked.  They learned quickly to be careful not to say anything they aren’t willing to apologize for.
• The one I struggle with the most. (Clearly.) Don’t respond in anger. When a policeman hands you a ticket for breaking the law, he’s polite yet firm.  The consequence should be enough to deter the behavior in the future…. not that some exasperated freak went off on you.
• Finally, every once in a while – do something crazy and unexpected -perhaps even slightly self-deprecating.  A fun memory will last a lifetime and love covers a multitude of sins.

For more Parenting Advice or responses to other writing prompts, head on over to Mama Kat’s place.

Tagged as: advice, Mama Kat, nina, parenting, Stink, writing prompt