It was the weekend, and Nina had finally persuaded her dad to invest in a fire pit.
Which also meant adirondack chairs and 1/4 cord of firewood. (Happy Father’s Day and Birthday, Spin.)
By Friday evening, we were ready to light up and chill in the backyard as a family except that we couldn’t get a decent fire going. The fire wood we bought was wet from a week of rain, and really all we had going was… smoke. Lots of it.
No longer subscribing to the newspaper, we found ourselves short on kindling and really, all we had was a smoke pit. (Stink later offered to burn his math homework, sweet, sacrificial little thang.)
Spin had a grander, more dangerous flammable idea ….. gasoline.
It was great for the first two spills, – but the third (and last dousing) lit more than the fire pit up. Spin found himself holding a BLAZING cup o’ flames – which he rather quickly dropped into the pine straw.
I wonder why he did something so mindless. It’s so unlike him.
I’ve really never seen anyone use pine straw in place of mulch outside of Georgia, so I won’t assume you know of which I refer. But let it suffice to say that pine straw is very nearly as flammable as gasoline – and within 4.2 seconds of contact, we had a 12 FOOT LINE OF FIRE with flames a good 3-4′ high in our back yard!!
Spin took off for the hose in the front of the house. I started beating the flames with a pitchfork….. which wasn’t great, but better than nothing. I finally started turning the pine straw up and blessing the Strong Name of Jesus for a week’s worth of rain that left the under layers of pine straw damp.
Spin got back none too soon with a hose and we doused what was left of the smoldering mess in our backyard.
Once I came off the adrenaline high, I started shaking. In truth, I could barely stand.
We back up to the woods. It could have been really, really bad, y’all.
A bottle of wine soothed my nerves, but did nothing beneficial for my constitution on Saturday. Seriously. Four glasses of wine, even over a seven hour stretch, still equals a full bottle. (moan)
I really am NOT an outdoor girl, but this fire pit may just be the diverging factor. We were outside until 1:30 AM on Friday and 12:30 on Saturday, and I enjoyed every. minute.
A lady keeps her secrets, but after an ENTIRE bottle of wine, let’s just say I have a new appreciation for “checking for ticks” and who knew ShamWow was so versatile??
Ahem.
This might just be what we refer to affectionately as the Summer of ‘09.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL!
Sounds like a time!!!
-FringeGirl
Oh my goodness, nearly crying about the ShamWow.
Sarah at themommyloguess last blog post..I’m ready, I’m ready
you crack me the frick up.
[and i was intrigued by all the pine straw i saw everywhere when i visited never seen it before. anywhere.]
this will be my first time i’ll be forced to build fires in my fireplace in my own freezing home. (did you see on my facebook that they got a huge snowstorm last night? yep. my house is COVERED in snow. great.) i have no idea how to build a fire (wouldn’t last very long on survivor) — so it should be interesting.
and one time our entire fireplace caught fire. i know that doesn’t make sense cause, like, isn’t that what it’s supposed to do? but let me tell you, it was bad. very bad.
so i’m a li’l nervous.
but i think that NOT freezing my ass off is worth the trepidation of figuring out how to become a master fire builder.
aleces last blog post..i hate being cold
Soliloquy…my love…can’t you see? You were completely set-up.
How else could I get you to drink 4 glasses of wine, which we both know is about 2.5 beyond your tolerance? I created a seemingly dangerous situation which I could rescue you from…my Damsel in Distress.
And, it worked like charm.
Sham WOW!
Spin
Just goes to show you Spin is just plain HOT.
Um I think it is Sham NOW!
The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..AlbumTalk: Blame it on Cuba.
I, too, am not an outdoorsy kind of girl. So, as I read, I am confident the exact same thing would have happened in my yard had we attempted any kind of fire. Of course, I can’t picture my hubby in ’saving the damsel in distress’ mode – so we might have been screwed….
At least you had wine.
And, I’m glad you put the fire out. (the outdoor one, I mean)
ExtraordinaryMommys last blog post..I’m getting thicker skin
The ShamWow observation made me almost pee my pants.
One question: What the hell are you doing lighting a fire in June in Georgia?
Mama Belles last blog post..Comfort
Um, clearly you did not read this post http://onexanaxatatime.blogspot.com/2009/04/3rd-degree-mishap.html
or you would have been able to warm Spin of what was in store.
If you were a REAL blogger, you would have taken pics while it was on fire.
Just kidding, of course. I’m glad no one was hurt. Someday you’ll laugh about it!
Jenns last blog post..Giveaway! Country Bob’s NOM NOM NOM
HAHAHAHA!!!! That is one funny story. A pitchfork, Soliloquoy? Seriously? Well…..that’s better than the STRAW BROOM my hubby’s cousin tried to use this past New Year’s when he and my husband accidentally started a grass fire in the horse pasture.
And for the record, I want to thank you for helping me make my final decision about purchasing a ShamWow. I just saved myself some coin!!
Alicias last blog post..It has to get better.
“and who knew ShamWow was so versatile??”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
june cleavers last blog post..The Wednesday Swoon (Think They’ll Notice It’s Not Monday?) and… there may be a CONTEST at the end of this post. Shhhh.
Okay, just the thought of you beating a fire with a pitch fork was enough to make me spit out my water with laughter.
We have a fire pit. We also back to heavy woods. It is fantastic. Welcome to the club.
Kristen@nosmallthings last blog post..Okay, maybe I AM dirty.