Change

It’s on my heart this morning to share this with you.

I’m thirty-frickin’-eight years old and possess the maturity level of a child at times.

I am so ashamed to once again be facing the same old bondage that has always held me.  You would think I’d have learned by now, but in reality my past efforts to resolve this have amounted to little more than band-aids on a wound that just won’t heal.

This season I am in absolutely took me off guard.  I didn’t for the life of me see it coming and it has completely knocked me off kilter.

It is true: Denial always ends up in crisis.  Ouch.

Worry not.  I’m a mess but I’m okay.  Well, will be okay.  This is good.  It’s painful, but good.

Why are we so conditioned to think of pain as bad…. to avoid it at all costs?  Avoidance and denial keeps us from facing the real issues, ever worsening the cause and therefore the festering pain.

Verily I say unto thee:

Pain is good. It tells us something is wrong and motivates us to make healthy change.

As Dave Ramsey put it, “We change only with the pain of same is greater than the pain of change.”

(waving hands wildly) I’ve had enough “pain of same”, so bring on the change.  Gently, please.

Anatole France summed it up nicely, and I love this:

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”

Amen. And amen.

My favorite pastor challenged us in a way I will never forget.  He said if there are “don’t go there” issues in your life or relationships, GO THERE.  Truth is certainly one of the most scary and painful things to face, but in my opinion, not nearly so much as living in fear of it.

No more band-aids, y’all. It’s time to open the wound, irrigate it with Love, dress it in God’s Truth and allow it to heal from the inside out.  The scar will always be there but scars aren’t painful.   In fact, I want to bear life-giving scars like the beautiful scars that mark my Jesus’ head, back, hands, side and feet.

In this, I’ve discovered a Great Reverse. Truth is ugly, yes – but sometimes your truth isn’t Truth at all.  It’s truth in the sense that it happened, but what I have come to believe about myself because those things happened are nothing more than lies. Lies have shaped me.

Gah, lies still shape me. Change is a process, often slow, but thank God He has me on the road to growth.  Even though I have known Christ as my Savior for a very long time, I am developing a new and very personal understanding of Him.  This is what He meant for us.  Not just salvation, but LIFE.  He is faithfully beginning to restore what I’ve lost and is leading me in the full life Jesus promised me. I want that!!!  I want the freedom that comes in living out God’s Word, from trusting Him, speaking the truth in love, asking Him for wisdom and above all seeking Him first.

Dear reader, this is heavy stuff, not the norm for my blog. Levity is a rare commodity these days, but what I do have is Truth.  In spades.

So,  I choose to press on, painful though it may be, knowing and thanking God in advance that I WILL come out the other side whole and free.