You know, the “Don’t Get Me Anything, But If You Must, Here Is A Detailed List” list.
Oh, don’t pretend you don’t have one.
The one with location, price and when necessary, online links, user names and passwords.
That List. Starting to sound familiar?
If you’ve been married for more than a few Christmases, you have a list.
Can we just be honest? We’re simple. We don’t want what we don’t want. We do however, want what we do want, if you insist on getting something. We’re thoughtful of our husbands by making it easy for them not to screw up Christmas.
One year, obviously before the List, and in all honesty precipitating the List, all I got for Christmas was errands. It was such a pain in the ass returning and exchanging everything. And poor Spin’s effort, all for naught – the shopping, the wrapping, the disclaimer statements “If you don’t like it, you can return it.”.
“Thank you so much, honey! I think I’ll do just that.“
Yeah. So, I’m all about the List.
Him? Notsomuch. Each year, Spin takes it upon himself to get me something he thinks that I don’t know that I really do want. Last year it was an iPhone. It only took him two weeks to convince me that yes, in fact, I would like an iPhone, which ended up being the understatement of our marriage. He did good.
Same thing with my laptop the year before that. I was quite content with my desktop computer. Why would I ever want to sit next to him while he watched a football game and reserve library books? He did good that year, too. How was I supposed to know I would need to blog and surf Facebook from bed?
Sometimes I screw it up. Like the time a box came from Apple in HONG KONG and the only thing small enough for that box was an iPod, and hello? I didn’t want an iPod, had no interest in an iPod. When was I going to use an iPod? While I traipsed around the house ignoring the kids? While I was not out running because I don’t run? He kept it for himself because he’d taken advantage of Apple’s free you can’t return it now engraving offer.
“Always and Forever, Spin” (snort)
I screwed it up this year too, and now I’m wishing I hadn’t. I wanted a Flip and found a great deal. I asked him if I could order it off my List for the call now for this unbelievably low price, and totally blew up his surprise idea.
I’m wishing I hadn’t, because now there are Crate & Barrel boxes showing up at my house and nothing from Crate & Barrel was on the List. It’s important to note that while I have no problem parting with money over clothes, books and Mexican vacations, I do not ever spend money on household items. I have no interest and I am just as content to go without.
You would think that would count for something. Did I not just say I’m just as content to go without? And yet, those boxes are stacked in the foyer taunting me. There they sit, taking the place of things on the List, that now I will not get.
Well, at least I do know it’s one of two things.
Errands or something I didn’t know that I really did want.
(Before y’all go hatin’ on me in the comments because I’m a brat, I’ll tell you that yes, in fact, I am a brat. And yes, in fact, I do know that my husband is good to me. And for the love of all that is Holy, no, I do not take it for granted. The List is really a game we play… and in the end, as I am sure is evident to all, actually quite helpful.)
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, yes ma’am. I know ALL about The List and The List being ignored. I had to get really specific the year after I got glow-in-the-dark Winnie the Pooh pajamas. Hubs has learned to pay attention…the mother-in-law is another story. Last year, I just did some post-Christmas shopping. Fellow brat, right here.
My husband won’t listen to the list. And he hates it when I return the crap he bought me. Think you’ve got a great system going! Wondering if it’s too late to train my guy!
I would make a list if I even thought it would make a difference. But it wouldn’t. So I don’t. And do the after Christmas errands anyway.
*sigh*
I don’t leave a list. I just flat out tell him what I want!
You don’t need to explain being a brat. I only come here to read bratty posts. You’re my idol.
i’m missing out on all the good in-house banter?!?! SHAME!
The boy asked me what I wanted. I told him. There weren’t many things, but a new, working coffee pot was on the list. There were a few awesome movies that I wanted as well. Those items, the things I really WANTED, were not good enough for him. And because I just started my new job and mentioned that I needed some new clothes, he decided that he was going to take Sam out shopping for me.
I am tickled pink that he would attempt such a feat. I am thrilled for the one on one time he had with Sam. I am grateful that I have a man who wants to treat me right and do for me, much like you.
But I fear that I will have to take everything back because I either (a) don’t like it or (b) it doesn’t fit.
However, knowing that he had Sam with him makes me feel a little better. She’s a good shopper, but often times picks out things that make me look “not like a mom”. So it’s entirely possible that I will not be able to wear any of it at all to work. heh.
We are kindred spirits. This year I used wishpot.com. I’m hoping it was helpful.
There are many marital challenges for a husband to conquer over the years…but NONE is more daunting than finding a useful and enjoyable Christmas present that surprises her.
Don’t let my recent successes (iPhone, laptop) fool you…there have been some monumental failures over the years.
Clothing is out of the question…I learned long ago that finding the right size, let alone the right style is impossible. SHE can’t even pick out clothes she likes…how can I do it??? Gift cards is the way to go. I bet my success rate on clothing gifts is less than 5%.
Likewise, it took multiple failures to realize that “exotic” sleepwear won’t cut it either. Right, Soliloquy? (Fortunately for me, these failures happened way back in my 20s…long before I realized how stupid this gift truly is. Now, I believe any guy who darkens the door of a Victoria’s Secret is just creepy.)
Nevertheless, finding the perfect Christmas gift for the wife is akin to climbing Mt. Everest…it’s the ultimate challenge. Despite the danger signs along the way to the peek, us men generally ignore them and keep plowing ahead until we get to the top.
HOWEVER…when we actually do get it right…it renders exotic sleepwear obsolete…because we have demonstrated that we actually DO listen, and we actually DO know you…
We then get to…ahem…plant our flag on Mt. Everest.
Am I right, Soliloquy’s Freaky Internet Friends???
Spin
I wanted a MacBookPro 17″ screen so I sat next to him while he ordered it and loaded it with software. It’s sitting in his closet and I am foaming at the mouth for 12/25.
So much for the holiday spirit, right?
I am making a guess. I think Spin got you some kind of fancy coffee machine.
Ditto the first comment from Jennifer (except for the glow-in-the-dark pajamas part)!!!! Only problem here – my husband asked to see my list two days ago. Y’all, this is probably REALLY bratty – I put the ‘big’ items on my BLOG!!! And I emailed the entire family’s wish list (with more affordable items) to our parents/sibs. And cc’ed my husband. That’s how we roll….
And PS – you aren’t showing up in my reader….
On my list this year was one thing. ONE. THING. I provided a link to the item, the account to purchase the item, and informed him that it was a one day sale. Guess what I didn’t get for Christmas? Yeah, I’m a brat too. But come on! We deteriorated into the list which was bad enough, but now apparantly we’re taking that even farther, into “buy my own gifts and tell you it’s handled” territory. Which is exactly what I will be doing next year. Yeesh.
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