As you know, my kids are in full time traditional school for the first time this year. It’s going well, Nina is killing it, Stink was born to go to school blah blah blah. But here’s what I really have to say. There’s a bothersome trend that’s making me feel like tuition merely covers the ‘strip down’ model of education. I am fielding requests for cash one after another. I feel like I send money to school every. single. day. And I’m not talking about lunch money.
I’m talking about hidden costs.
I’m talking about borderline inappropriate costs, some of which carry unfortunate ramifications if we choose not to cough it up.
Nina came home today and said she needed to donate markers and/or glue sticks for extra credit in History. She took a box of tissues last week for extra credit in Math. Okay, fine. Apparently tuition doesn’t cover basic supplies for our teachers. I’m certainly not going to fore go the easy extra credit. But if you think about it, does it not amount to buying grades?
(I mean, could I not have sent a box of tissues last semester, for the .87% that separated Nina’s final grade of a B from an A? My kid busts her ass to bring her math grade up from 77% to 89.13% and I bust my ass driving her to and from tutoring – which, incidentally, I have to pay for because the math teacher can’t do her job – but Nina didn’t get the A because her math teacher didn’t have the runny nose she has now?)
((You know what? Don’t get me started. This post will not end up in the same place it was intended to.))
So fine, markers. Check. But then? she said she also needs $14 for her Spanish class. This will be the fifth time I have sent cash money to her Spanish teacher. However, this time? I’m disturbed.
You see, next week a Latin musician is coming to the school to give a concert. Great. Fine. Nice. But Nina has a choice to make. She can 1. Buy a ticket to go to the concert during classtime – again, at the school or 2. Stay in the classroom and be given an assignment that concert-goers will not have to complete.
Really? I mean really?? Is this for real? It’s not like a field trip. The school has invited the musician to come but the students have to pay to go or accept more homework?? What kind of choice is that? A manipulative one, that’s what.
Is this normal? Because I wouldn’t know.
So far this school year, I have sent cash and/ or purchased donations for the following:
- Yearbook pictures
- Yearbook picture retakes
- Book fair (twice)
- $2 and one flower for each of the four 5th grade teachers on their birthday, plus the rest of each full bouquet I had to buy. (In all, the teachers net $170 cash and 85 flowers. Each.)
- PTF membership
- Fall “Boosterthon” fundraiser (recommended minimum donation of $100 per student – “encouraged” by “friendly competition” – meaning everybody knows what everyone else has raised.)
- Various school supplies for “extra credit”
- Fall Festival meal/ activity tickets
- Cash donation to provide meals to teachers on parent/ teacher conference day
- Canned food drive
- Homecoming ticket
- Homecoming t-shirt
- Freshman class t-shirt
- Spirit wear t-shirt
- Spirit wear fleece
- PTF sponsored sweatshirt sales
- Performing Arts school t-shirt
- Multiple cash donations per student to wear jeans on designated days
- Cash donation for 9th grade homecoming float
- Cash donation for teacher Christmas gifts (We opted to give individual gifts instead)
- Christmas gift bag per student to a homeless shelter (to include about 10 purchased items per bag)
- Cash donation for a Spanish class sponsored needy family
- Cash donation for a Fine Arts department sponsored needy family
- Christmas toy donations for a local ministry
- Class Christmas sweatshirt to be worn to a 5th grade sponsored Christmas party for shelter families
- Cash donation for Spanish sponsored mission team
- Cash to pay for Spanish sponsored dinner at Mexican restaurant so the kids could order food in Spanish
- Cash donation for American Heart Association jump-rope thing. (Recommended minimum $50 contribution per student.)
- Monthly installment payments for Nina and myself to go to NYC with the Performing Arts School (within the private school) in March
Is it me? Or is this off-the-hook out of control?? I’m sure I’ve even missed some of the soft expenditures. These are what I came up with off the top of my head from just the first semester. People, I’m already fearing for what I know still lies ahead.
Private school families, public school families – is this a normal part of going to school??
And if it is, shouldn’t someone have told us??
I feel like we are being sucked dry by this school.
Hm. For a funny moment, I just had the thought, “I wonder if this is how Spin feels about me and money.” It’s gone now.
(The thought, that is.)
((Well, and the money.))
I really would like to know what we will have parted with above and beyond our tuition.
Or then again, maybe I don’t.
I mean, I wouldn’t want Spin getting the idea to try and tally what I’ve cost above and beyond.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow – that is outrageous! Our kids are in public school – preschool and kindergarten – so we don’t have much to pay for… yet. We did buy a ticket to a local theatre performance the students were going to see ($5), we had to pay $10 for a field trip to pick apples, and there have been opportunities to donate to charities (food, penny, and coat drives in Nov-Dec; Haiti relief; books for a school in Africa). There’s been a silent auction – we contributed two items (one for each of our kids). School photos. Book Fair. Oh, and then there was the cookie sale that we did not participate in (daughter with food allergies – not selling something that we can’t have in our home). OK – now that I’m listing it, it really adds up! Did I mention that even though it’s a public school, we pay tuition for our preschooler? It’s much less expensive than private preschool, though. Still – nothing in comparison to what you are shelling out. Wow. Just wow.
The hidden costs? To be expected, public or private. But giving extra credit in exchange for the costs? Soooo not OK! You’ve gotta revolt on that one.
Wow. That’s kind of intense. We have some friends with a kid in a private school, and they’ve had to sell $1K in raffle tickets, and sell 40 $100 gas cards. In addition to tuition. And numerous other things. Plus I think he’s only 4, so it much just be preschool he’s there for. Which makes me feel better about the $52/yr milk fee I had to pay for each of my girls at public school. Of course, I was used to our extremely poor public school. So poor every kid got breakfast every day and milk break milk free. Thank you, State of Minnesota.
Holy Crap! My kids have been in both public and private school so I am a self proclaimed expert here. That’s insane! The extra credit is super insane. That’s a lot of extras. You rich folks are being hosed. Problem is, if you’re the only one to make a stand, your kids are black listed. Bad situation friend.
Fawn O.´s last blog ..A Kick Off Party!
“Rich” is a stretch. Tuition is a sacrifice we make to keep our kids out of our public school system that requires METAL DETECTORS at all the entrances. We tried to sell our house last spring to get into a different school district, but nada.
Once you’ve figured out a way to make private school work in your budget, it doesn’t seem right to be hit with this number of additional “costs” you are “encouraged” to contribute Why not be upfront and factor it all into the tuition, so you know what you realistically need to plan for? It would have been nice to know I needed to get a part-time job….. (Kidding.)
I hear Anthropologie is hiring…
Yes, that is out of control! That is a ton of stuff that is just wrong. I mean, money for each of the 5th grade teachers? I MAYBE could understand for her homeroom teacher, but for all the kids to pitch in for every teacher?? No way! I think I got a $10 Wal-mart card and hand-picked flowers out of their own flowerbeds on my birthday (which, by the way, was so very precious to me).
That is just all too much! The whole Spanish program ticket buying got my blood boiling. But what can you do? I don’t see you having a choice about most of it.
I totally understand your frustration and I hope it gets better.
When we attended private school, after righting a check for $20,000 for the year…they would ask my kid to sell frickin wrapping paper to RAISE MONEY for supplies.
I had a HUGE FIT. Got lots of parents on board.
And guess what? NO MORE FUNDRAISERS.
Speak up. Start quiet and calm…and then kick ass.
No one should bully YOU.
The Glamorous Life Association´s last blog ..Rainy day dreaming…
As I start to look into where I want Princess to go to elementary school I plan to ask about hidden costs such as fund raisers. I’m hoping the private schools will give me a “fund raiser opt out” fee instead. Really. I’d much prefer to know the full cost up front then have to buy a few thousand dollars worth of cookie dough, magazines and last minute field trip expenses.
I despised fund raisers when I was in school. No day off if I didn’t sell enough ads for the broadway show pamphlet. Our principal was honored as a genius for his ability to keep our school out of the red. I think it was more along the lines of the title of this post.
Supplies for extra credit? That’s completely out of line. Grades should have nothing to do with whether or not you brought in a box of tissues for classroom use.
Serenity now…serenity now…serenity now…
Spin
I’m a long time lurker and have never commented, but this post just spoke to me. I hope you don’t mind – I love your blog! I complain about the same thing!! My daughter just started kindergarten…it is public school…and every week we have AT LEAST 3 requests for money…field trips cost, pictures cost, a fundraiser here and one there, snacks, etc. I was SHOCKED.
However, I must say that if I were putting up money for a private school I would be even more livid. You should NOT have to purchase supplies after paying tuition!
Christina´s last blog ..Lost Tooth!
We are always asked to send in money too, however, the list you gave seems like quite a bit of money! The option of giving items to get extra credit never has been given to us. I never buy photos from the school…too expensive…I take my boys’ myself (or you could go to Walmart and get a huge package for dirt cheap). Yearbooks…I’ve only bought 2…we’ve decided to only buy one for each boy when they actually care about the year book (HS age). We’ve done fundraisers, however they never have given us a “recommended” amount…and no one is shown how much each child raised.
Annabelle´s last blog ..It’s fun to stay at the…
Yeah. What Marcie said. That is ridiculous, to say the least. As a former teacher, I find it ridiculous to tie extra assignments and grades to money. Talk about unfair.
Tonggu Momma´s last blog ..Okay, so I’m not proud, but…
My kids went to private school and there were lots of “hidden” costs…
My four grandbabies are all under age of 6 and their schools ALL have Fundraisers… it is crazy. One year olds selling wrapping paper!!!!
I LOVE your blog!
Weekend Cowgirl´s last blog ..Elk in Snow
We are a public school family because we cannot afford tuition AND the extras. If you look at my checkbook all the checks I write are to the school, the PTA or the daycare center. If it weren’t for those three things? I wouldn’t need checks at all.
However, I will tell you this. I no longer participate in Fundraisers. I ask what the school’s profit is, then I write a check for what I would’ve spent on the junk.
And we just got our Jump Rope for Heart envelopes tomorrow. I don’t care what the suggested donation is. They’ll get what I can give them.
Heather {Desperately Seeking}´s last blog ..Timing… It’s All About Timing…
I agree with all of the above. Since both of my boys have been in school I’ve gotten to where I will take the fund raiser stuff to my activities and hubby will take them to work, sell a little, even out the total amount (ie, if one sells 50$ and one sells 30$ in ‘whatever’ then my purchase will be 20$ to even it out. Usually because they get prizes for selling. I can’t have that uneven, right?) Anyway, that way I’m only out a little. Supplies for extra credit? Um, ABSO-FING-LUTELY NOT.
Headless Mom´s last blog ..Sky
Yep, I feel your pain. My Beau always says every time he turns around the school’s asking him for more money. Public high school in one year for one of our girls. Scary and exhilarating at the same time.
Mama Belle´s last blog ..Love can be a hard thing.
Unfortunately, I don’t think this is uncommon. Although I only know about public school, I can tell you that we get stuff home like this all year long. Lots of fundraisers, merchandise to buy, donations for this or that, pictures, book fairs, etc. And the teacher gifts seem a little extreme. I have three kids in school. One of them has four teachers (because he has an iep). One of them has two assistants. So I’m supposed to buy gifts for all of these folks? That’s eight teachers. {And that doesn’t include the religious ed teachers (four of them), the brownie leaders, the cub scout leaders, etc, coaches, etc. } They actually put together a binder of what each teacher in the school wants. Seriously? OMG. And then I got a very impersonal thank you note home from one of the teachers. It wasn’t even signed. It was typed up and copied and sent home. Wow.
Where was I? Hmmm…well, the point is, I have stopped. I will help out my kids, and their classes. I am my son’s room mom, and I’ll do what I can there. But I’m not going to fund the school anymore. You know what the pto asked us to do last year? Give a gift to the class for each day of teacher appreciation week. They wanted supplies one day, something for the playground another day, etc. Should this be coming out of the county budget? And if you don’t contribute, you are criticized, albeit quietly, but still criticized.
I am over it. I should write my own post on this. Clearly, I am troubled.
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